


Nothing Good Happens after 2 AM...EXCEPT..

by BlackShady313



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Awkward, Bromance, Confession, Friendship, Growing Romance, Love, M/M, Phone Sex, Sex, Tension, drunk, phenomenons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-21 12:18:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2468057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackShady313/pseuds/BlackShady313
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyday Ted seems to get further and further from finding "The One." Maybe Ted just needs one drunk night at MacLaren's and a little luck from the phenomenon to turn his world upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Tonight was the night. Tonight Ted was determined to find "the one " and settle down. Well...He was always determined, but that was besides the point. Checking in the mirror he smiled to himself, he had nailed the look: the messy - I - don't - give a damn hairdo. Honestly it had taken him half an hour to perfect so somebody in the bar tonight better give a damn. **_Hopefully a spunky blonde._ ** Grabbing his jacket he headed out to the door to his favorite pub to meet his favorite people.

                       ☆

"Just the one for now," Ted grabbed his cool drink as he smiled thankfully at Wendy the waitress. "Sure thing Ted," she replied smiling as she walked away. The Architect watched her go, frowning as he thought of Barney. Sure Wendy was pretty but he'd never date the waitress of his favorite bar, it was too risky if it back fired, and that's exactly what happened between Barney and her (Or so he says). **_God is there anyone Barney wouldn't fuck if given the chance?_ ** A thought came over Ted and he quickly drowned it out with a sip of his beer, smiling up nervously at Lily and Marshall. Ted scanned the bar area, because after all, he was here to find his "One" not think about his friend Barney Stinson doing things to Wendy the waitress...or other people. "Barney!" Lily called out, waving. **_Speak of the devil..._**  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"Haaaave you met me?" Barney flashed a michevious smile at the group before scooting into the booth beside Ted, his signature scotch in hand. "Teddy-!" "No." Barney tried again. "Ted Theodore Mosby-!" "No Barney I don't want to be your wing man tonight," Ted groaned. He just wanted to find one girl, not to help Barney get two twins. Barney laughed, he lived for challenges everyday and breaking Ted into doing what he asked was hardly considered a challenge."On the contrary sweet sweet Ted.  I BARNEY STINSON- THE ONE AND ONLY!-" "Not so loud Barney, people are looking," Lily hissed, cutting Barney and his grand speech off. The blonde chuckled **_Good I love an audience_** but he lowered his voice as he continued, turning his attention back to Ted,"the one and only Barney Stinson is going to help you, dear Ted, bang..." He looked around the room, spotting in his opinion, a 8/10, "That red over there!" Barney finished, already getting up with a glass of scotch in his hand. "Huh. ..woah w - Wait!  Dammit Barney I said wait a sec." Ted grabbed Barney ' s hand. Barney turned, not batting an eye. **_He better not touch my suit.._ ** "I mean do you even have a plan?" Barney grinned, god Ted was so hopeless. "Oh Teddy, when do I not?" Swallowing hard, Ted did not like where this was going but he reluctantly got up and followed the blonde.  Barney had a way of making the brunette do whatever he asked and he wasn't sure why, didn't want to know either. "This is a bad idea Barney. "

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Ted had been right. Barney casually swanked back to the group with Ted blushing In bewilderment and anger. "What the hell where you thinking with that play!?" Ted hissed as he got within Barney ' s ear shot. The player just raised his scotch, eyes twinkling with excitement. "Drink up Teddy, the nights still young and so are we." Marshall smiled at his two single friends, sometimes he wished he could go out on the prowl or be Barney ' s wingman for the night. Lily sighed happily and rested her head in Marshall's shoulder and he smiled down at her. **_On second thought, I wouldn't trade this for the world._**  


    ~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

 One by one the group slowly started dispersing.  Robin had came a little later just for a couple drinks before leaving to catch a nap. She had a 4 am show to broadcast soon, not that anybody would be watching anyway. By 12:30 Lily excused herself and Marshall as they headed out. That just left Ted and Barney. Ted frowned, he couldn't remember the last time it was just him and Barney having a guys night.  He raised his beer and Barney eagerly grabbed his scotch, clinking glasses with his companion. " TO US!" Barney toasted loudly.He snapped his neck back and the sweet burn of Glenn McKenna slid down his throat. Ted watched the blondes neck constrict as his adams apple bobbled, taking in the smooth taste  . Straightening out, Barney slammed his glass down loudly, "Ahh, " he said licking the beverage from his lips. Ted couldn't help but stare at his player of a friend. With a sick feeling Ted suddenly remembered why he didn't hang around Barney alone anymore. "To us..." He whispered back weakly.  


	2. The Thoughts of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ted realizes that perhaps he shouldn't be alone with Barney

*beep* ●Ted are you there? What the hell happened to you last night? Anyways...call me back.

*beep* ●Ted...it's Barney...again. I know your home. Answer the damn phone already. 

*beep* ● You know you missed out on an awesome night last night...just so you know.  Call me back it's Barney . 

 Ted groaned as he heard Barney ' s smooth cocky voice ring out three times on his answering machine. _**Did this guy ever quit?**_  


*beep* _**Oh god not another one.** _ Ted was surprised when  his best friend, Marshalls voice rang out. 

  ● Hey Ted, just wasn't to remind you that tonight is game night with me and Lil, look forward to having you bud.

 Ted groaned for the second time that day as he shoved the covers back on his bed. He had a feeling by the end of the day Ted would be the king of out ward sighing. 

~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"Go for Barney," the GNB employee whirled around in his office chair as he took his morning calls. It was a slow day so he had had time to harass Ted. "What  was up with Ted yesterday and wussing out?" Barney spoke aloud, he loved to hear his own voice talk. Talking is what got the girls panties to drop....and the martinis in the face.  Ted had indeed "wussed" out on Barney last night for as soon as the toast was done an excuse was made and he had quickly taken his leave, leaving a confused Barney alone and sober, and without a girl. His wingman had gone MIA, and Barney wasn't too happy. **_It's bad enough Ted won't suit up._ ** "Suit up..." The words rolled off Barney ' s tongue as he tasted the air. "Yes suit up Indeed. "

~~~~~~~.~~~~~

Ted loved hanging with Marshall and Lily, they where his best friends after all, but game night was a day Ted would never miss.  To put It bluntly, Lily and Marshall tried too hard to please their guests and ultimately, it was just plain boring.(not that Ted would ever admit to it). Barney had called again and had mentioned something about suiting up and how Ted better do it this time and that he owed him and blah blah. The Architect would much rather be bored with the married couple then confused and annoyed with the single blonde man. 

               ☆

" Eee Ted you just got married!!" The brunette rolled his eyes, they where playing Life and it was manitory for everyone in the game to get married. **_Too bad it wasn't this easy in real life to get married_.** Marshall seemed to read his best friends thoughts and he gave Ted a reassuring pat on the back. "One day buddy..." Ted just smiled, nodding slowly at Marshalls big ol' stupid grin. He wasn't sure if he believed anymore.  

         

Lily giggled and Ted looked up from his occupied thoughts.  Teds' s Life piece which consisted of a car and a little blue man(Ted) driving, had been tinkered with and another blue man was pegged beside him instead of the typical pink "girl" piece.Lily couldn't hold back, bursting into a fit of giggles. "Your husband's so lucky to have you,Ted." A sly smile spread on Marshall's face, happy to have made his wife so ecstatic with happiness.  Ted smiled behind thin lips. **_Your husband's so lucky to have you Ted..._**  

~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~

"Teeee-eeed, " Barney whined, coming up behind the brunette and scaring the shit out of him. He smirked, Ted was his favorite friend to fuck with and what where best friends for after all? Barney came around to slide in the booth across from him, motioning for a waiter to come over. If Barney hadn't been so narcissistic and vain, starring at himself, he would of noticed how tight Ted had his hands wrapped around his beer, hands shaking as he looked everywhere but at Barney. However, Barney was...well Barney so he didn't notice as he smiled down at the recently ordered scotch. 

       " So Theodore, you wussed out on me yesterday and you didn't suit up for me tonight. Your supposed to be my wingman and let me tell you Ted, last night the only pussy I got close to was you." Ted reddened at Barney ' s comments as he tried to look at his friend with an innocent sheepish look. When he didn't explain himself, Barney pressed further. "You know I'd almost be disappointed if it wasn't for the amazing phone sex you attempted to give a girl last night." Ted shot his eyes up at his friend. "I di- what?  Wha-? How do you know what I did?" **_I don't even know what I did_**..Ted had gone home last night early, deeply disturbed by his thoughts of his friend, having drank himself till he passed out but apparently not before he drunk called some chick?.  Barney smirked, pulling his phone out of his pocket, clicking a few buttons before Ted's undeniably drunk voice rang out.

 

    "Huh...mm.hey...s' oh *hick* you *hick* still at the........The. ..The BAR! You still at the bar? Cuz' I'm at home thinking aboutch yew. Cant stop thinking about yew and a...mm. That fucking pullable hair of yours. Betcha..like it rough.ha. I do.Ha...you don't even know what I'd do to you if you came here right now. I'll *hick* let you do anything to me..me...would you like that Ba...

 The message ended. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

Ted gaped in horror, not bothering to look up as he got up from the table to leave. This was the most embarrassing thing ever and Ted wanted to curl up in the floor and die.  Barney quirked his eyebrow and grabbed Ted's elbow before he could leave. "Where are you going Theodore Mosby? Barbie got you all hot and bothered already? Or perhaps it's Barb..." Barney laughed slyly, sending a teasing wink in the Brunettes direction. **_Oh.my.god...is Barney really that oblivious?!_ ** Ted slowly turned around, face flushed. "Ha...ya..Barb," Ted replied weakly. 

 

"Anyways..." Barney continued , "Everyone knows that one of the main rules in the bro code is to never EVER sleep with the same woman twice UNLESS she's A) a super model or B) she's just that amazing in bed. So tell me..." Barney finished his last swallow of Scotch and leaned forward smiling a brilliant smile. Ted's thoughts grew hazy as he leaned forward as well. Oh god Ted could feel Barney ' s breath on his face. **_Barney..._ ** "Does Teddy have himself a sex goddess ?" The blonde asked, eyes gleaming with Mischief. The Architect ran his eyes slowly up and down the full lank of Barney ' s body, pausing to admire his pouted pink lips and the area between Barney ' s thigh. "God i wish, " Ted replied, licking his lips dryly and giving one last longing look at the player before he looked away.

 

   Ted promised himself two things that night after his encounter with Barney Stinson.One was that he'd  never ever be around Barney alone again and two, he would never ever get drunk around Barney. Ted broke those two promises in a matter of days  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well here it, chapter 2. Hope you guys like it... if anyone is even reading this lol. I know How I Met your Mother has been done for awhile now but its still an awesome show! (haven't watched the new season yet though) anyways....hope you guys like it and comments would be nice ;)


	3. Mistakes on Both Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ted really really should keep his promises  
> and In which Barney really shouldn't be so stupid

 

"It's going to be-" Robin cut him off before he could continue. "You say EVERYTHING is going to be legendary Barney. I Bet you say that every morning before you dress yourself." Barney smirked, running a hand through his hair. "Course I Do Scherbatsky, it's me for God's sake. Just look at me." Barney stretched a well suited arm out but Robin refused to bite. "Not interested," she responded getting up to go.  She finally had a free day and there was some things she needed to discuss to Lily about. **_A particular something,_ ** she thought smirking as Don's  face came into view. "Ya well...This is more of a Bro thing anyway, something you wouldn't understand. A MAN thing!" The blonde shot after her. If there was one thing the blonde couldn't stand it was being rejected. Robin stopped, eyebrow quirked  as she let out a loud laugh, " You and I both know I'm more man then Ted is."  With that she was gone leaving a laughing Barney alone at the bar, not noticing Ted had showed up and heard her comment. 

 

   "Hey!" Ted called out after the brunette but she was already gone. Barney stopped laughing long enough to motion the other man to the booth across from him. "Ah Teddy. Just the man I wanted to see." Ted gave him a confused look in return,"Me?" He whispered worridely, taking a sip of his beer the waitress delivered. Barney laughed, a smooth and shockingly bright laugh."Of course you, who else?" This was only partially true. He had originally asked Robin to go with him on an adventure but was turned down. In all honestly Barney was a little nervous to be around Ted since the night he got an accidental drunk call from the Architect. Barney wasn't stupid, he was sure the call was meant for him but he also knew he wasn't 100% positive until he got some proof. So, what better way then to take Ted on a bogus adventure and get him blacked out drunk again, for evidence. **_Evidence..._ ** Barney knew he should leave things be, **_What if Ted really is gay for me?? How am I going to bro it up with him when he'll want to hoe it up?!_ ** Barney was worried but he was also stubborn, he wanted answers and he was going to get them.

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

"You want to lick the liberty bell??" Ted eechoed Barney ' s previous statement.  Straightening his already perfect tie, Barney flashed a winning smile at his friend. "But of course Teddy!" He replied eagerly. Ted sighed, rubbing his tired eyes," And do tell Barney, why would we want to do that?" Quirking  an eyebrow Barney raised a glass," Because we can Ted." The brunette sighed, how did he always get roped into Barney ' s shinagins. He raised his own beer and clanked  it with the blonde's, an action that was becoming all too familiar, before giving in," Alright, screw it, let's go lick the liberty bell." Barney jumped from his seat, throwing a couple 10 dollar bills on the table as he exited the bar calling over his shoulder, "Well what are we waiting for Teddy boy?"  "What now??," Ted spit his drink out in surprise. The blonde kept walking and Ted quickly grabbed his coat, following the players quick foot step. He should know Barney by now but still the other man still managed to surprise him everyday. Watching as Barney smoothly hailed a cab and got in, Ted couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.  

 ~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

"So when's Marshall meeting us?" Ted asked innocently, looking out the rain streaked windows. It had suddenly began to pour and Ted was feeling cold and alone. **_I wish i had a hot blonde to warm me up._ ** "Later on..." Barney ' s reply interrupted Ted's thought. It had taken the blonde awhile to answer,  he hadn't  expected the question. Ted usually never cared who was coming but as Barney eyed his best friend he realized things where different between them and he was going to find out for sure. 

 

Unfortunately Barney had lied to Ted, he hasn't even asked Marshall, and for this he'd have to be careful to not get caught in his lie. **_Good thing I'm the king of deceit._ ** It was true, Barney had a giant Play book full of moves and lies to get a girl into bed with him, so If Barney had to lie to his best friend then so be it. Barney tried to imagine what this play would be called that he roped Ted into but he shook his head, erasing that thought. Ted was his best friend not some hot babe, and he was trying to get Ted to confess not sleep with him. **_I'm sure this is all a silly misunderstanding, Ted will admit to being in love with some crazy bitch named Barb and how she's "The One" and doesn't want anyone to know about her yet, and I'll be his first friend he confides in because I'm his BEST friend and then will lick the Liberty Bell and It'll be Legendary._ ** Barney reassured himself as they finally pulled up to their destination. Deep down, Barney was starting to believe less and less. "Where here Ted." 

~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

Ted tore his eyes from the window finally and smiled up at Barney.  "Well, let's go get legendary then," the brunette said exiting the cab. The player followed suite, exiting his side, as they both stared up the tall building they'd driven so long to get to.  "We should probably have a few while we wait for Marshall'" Barney lied, motioning to a local Bar ironically called, The Liberty Bell. Ted hesitantly following the other man, as his stomach churned in knots thinking about his two promises from the other night.   ** _Never be alone with Barney...Never get drunk with Barney._**   Ted paused at the doors that Barney had eagerly walked into. **_I'll just have a couple, and Marshall will be coming soon. Things will be fine._**

   Unfortunately Ted had guessed wrong. 

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"AY- OH! " Ted slammed down his eighth drink as he grinned happily at his blonde friend sitting in the red plush booth across from him. Ted couldn't believe he was going to lick the liberty bell soon, only someone as crazy as Barney would come up with such a weird idea but he loved it none the less. He has originally promised himself he wouldn't drink very much but he kept reassuring himself that Marshall would be coming soon to save him from any embarrassment and hell...When he wasn't drinking he was thinking about Barney inappropriately and that just wouldn't do. Ted eagerly shot the tequila shooter down that Barney had bought for him and Ted as he laughed like an idiot. "This is fun!" The Architect grinned sloppily.  The blonde smiled at the man's words sheeply  as he downed his shot as well. Ted was getting smashed and Barney was...well buzzed if anything. He had a great tolerance to  alcohol. As Ted eyes grew more and more hazy, Barney decided it was the perfect time to drop some "bad news" on Ted.

 

Ted listened as Barney ' s words sunk in. **_Marshall wasn't coming..._ ** Ted knew this was something important and that he should be worried about something, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what. Ted was too drunk to care as he finished his last beer and wobbly got up from the table. "S Kay.  His loss. That bell ready for a licking?" Barney eyed him quizzically, it was now or never.  "Let's go make Marshall regret not coming," he replied smiling, following his drunk friend out. Barney felt bad for tricking his friend but until he could prove that it had been a mistake and Ted really wasn't gay, it would always be on Barney's mind. 

  ~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"There she is!" Ted yelled stupidly, tripping over his own feet and almost colliding with the ground. Thankfully Barny's quick reflexes caught both Ted's arms before he could do any damage. "WOAH...thanks. Your a good friend," Ted said, grinning sweetly at his hero. **_Good FRIEND._ ** Ted's words sunk in and Barney relaxed a little, making sure his friend was stable before he let go. **_Perhaps things really where going to be ok after all._** "Let's get to licking,  Swarls! " Ted called, hobbling over to the bell. Barney froze, he hated being called that by everyone.  "TEEEE!-eeed! Don't!" Barney whined, last thing he wanted was a drunk Ted calling him Swarly  all night. Ted turned, a devilish look on his face, "Don't what?" He said, sliding up beside him. Ted had tried to be smooth but had almost toppled again if it wasn't for Barney's strong hands holding him in place. Ted's eyes moved everywhere,  unable to focus on the blonde holding him up.  "Don't what? Hang with Barney again? I won't...at least not alone. I said I wouldn't,  now didn't I Marshall? I'm not stupid?" Ted threw his head back and laughed as Barney looked at his drunk friend with worry and confusion. **_What the fuck?! Marshall? Ted thinks I'm Marshall??!_**

 

    Of course Ted thought that. Ted was drunk but he wasn't stupid. He promised himself the night before he wouldn't get drunk around Barney ever again or be alone with him so the hazy figure he couldn't make out must be Marshall. The blurb seemed too big to be Robin or Lily.   ** _What am I doing here??_ ** He looked around and spotted the Liberty Bell. Where him and Marshall supposed to do something involving it? **_Hmm weird._**

Unfortunately Ted wasnt counting on being stupid and this was indeed Barney. 

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

Well Barney wasn't expecting this. He knew Ted was drunk but thinking he was Marshall?! Barney was a little insulted, hurt. **_Marshall would never think of anything as cool as licking the Liberty Bell and I'm WAY hotter then he is!_** Unsure of what to say, Barney chose his words carefully but Ted beat him to it. "Marshall I need to come clean about something. It's been bothering me for awhile and please, please don't hate me....oh god what if Lily hates me?!" Ted broke off,  sobbing quietly to himself. **_Oh god, is Ted going to confess that he loves Marshall?!_ ** Looking back, Barney saw no signs that pointed to the Architect's hidden feelings towards Ted's old roommate, Marshall. Still...Barney really hasn't been looking. "I could never hate you," Barney said in his best impression of Marshall's  voice. It was terrible sounding but Ted was drunk. 

 

    "I think I want Barney!" Ted rushed out quickly, taking Barney by surprise. "OOH," the blonde gaped, taking a step back from Ted. **_This was a bad idea._ ** Ted must of misread Barney's body language wrong because he stepped closer to him, eyes glimmering with old tears as he continued confidently ," I can't stop thinking about him man, I know it's wrong but you and Lil always talk about finding love in the most unexplained places, right...RIGHT?"  Ted called out desperately,  asking for conformation from his best friend. He wanted Marshall to support him, tell him it was ok to feel this way about Barney. Sadly, Ted was blissfully unaware he had just confessed his love to his crush. Barney was still taken aback, hand gripping hard on the rail. "W..what about Barb...?" Barney whispered quietly. Ted ,not hearing, ignored him. "I know he's stubborn and a womanizer  and a narcissist who I don't have a *hick* chance in hell with but..but... " Ted stammered trying to find the right words to say. "Ted..." Barney called cautiously.  He had to stop this before it went too far. 

 

"Him and his stupid suites, I just want to rip them off him, ah.. *hick* he's so protective over those fucking suits, Marshall,  you see how he is. God I wish he was protective like that over me. *hick*I just... I don't know...  I wanna ruin them. Ruin him. I- I want to bend him over backwards and just fuck him dry, fuck *hick* his tight virgin ass until he's begging me for more like the little man slut he is. Show him he's not the only one with his stupid smooth plays. I want to feel him, want him to scream my name so fucking loud, want him to know I'll be the best sex he'll ever have.*hick*," Ted teetered and Barney made no move to steady him. Managing to gain balance again, Ted continued, looking dreamily as he continued, " Then when I'm good and ready, I'm a finish up all over his nice brand new suit, thst nice grey one he loves so much, I'll make sure I cum everywhere." Ted licked his lips as he continued , "Ima ruin him and then ima ruin his Italian stitching,  I'll make him clean himself up, make him lick his suite clean until hes spotless. Barney loves himself, let's see if he likes tasting himself too." Ted laughed at his words, as if it was the funniest thing he could of ever said. If Ted was sober he would of been horrified for confessing his darkest fantasizes to anyone,including his best friend Marshall, and especially Barney. The Architect  wasn't even willing to admit his feelings to himself yet but drunk Ted had done his job for him, spilling out to his beloved best friend. **_Marshall..._** His best friend hadn't said anything for awhile. He looked at him through heavy eyes. Marshall seemed...scared. Ted lost it.

 

   "It...it's so hard Marshall.  You wouldn't understand you and Lily have been together forever," Ted said pleading as he edged closer to his friend. Barney edged further away. Ted pressed on, " I'm in my 30 ' s and I still haven't found someone to settle down with and marry and have kids with.  What am I supposed to do?" By the end of his speech Ted was full out crying. Barney looked at his friend nervously.  He should say something-ANYTHING to Ted. After all it was Barny's "brilliant" idea to get Ted drunk. He should at least do something...Barney moved forward then stopped himself before edging back.

 

Too late. Barney turned and high tailed it out of there, guilt pitting his stomach as he left his best friend alone and broken, and stupidly drunk with vulnerability, crying in the rain. Barney was a coward and he cursed himself for it.

 

 

Barney had finally gotten his answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...for anyone reading I just want to apologize firstly for making this chapter so long. Just had a lot of thoughts running around in my head. I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter, but I know its defiantly not my best. I'm going to blame my sickness ;P  
> Secondly I just want to inform people that this story will indeed have a HAPPY ending, so don't be too worried, if anyone even is.  
> *Anyways...hope you enjoy chapter 3 I tried my hardest. Comments would be much appreciated it :)


	4. I've Never...lied before... I think?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've Never Been in Love with you...  
> in which that's a lie  
> perhaps from both ends.

 

Three grueling days had come and passed and there seemed to be no end in sight. Neither Barney nor Ted talked to either of their friends of that night, and both boys had avoided each other since that day. Well, Barney avoided everyone. He hadn't been to McLaren's  since that day, and even Ted checked in the window to make sure Barney wasn't there before he went inside to join his friends. Everyone had their suspicions on what happened but after Ted was able to piece together what really happened that night, he had shut down even more so. Blocking out his true feelings from his friends. 

 

Lily wasn't stupid. 

 

She had pulled him aside earlier that night and demanded to know what was going on between him and Barney.  Ted had shuffled his feet, stared at the floor and mumbled , "nothing. " **_What's there to tell? I can't even fucking hang with one of my closest friends and drink without confessing my burning desires to fuck him and his suit. Thank god I didn't tell Barney I loved him!_**

 

 Ted had been known throughout the group as the romantic one. Flowers, candies, love at first sight, Ted believed in it all, and with a passion. After one date with Robin, he had slipped the L word out, which ultimately freaked her out, but it had been true.  At the time, Ted really had loved Robin, and now....? The architect didn't want to think about now. He'll he should be thinking about his future  with his WIFE and his future kids. 

 

"Just been really trying hard lately to find the one and Barney ' s just been getting upset lately because I won't be his wingman and play any of his games. " Ted prayed the bold faced lie would stick, and it appeared to do so, as Lily just sighed, patting Ted's back before rejoining her husband at the table.  Her frown and concern never did leave her face that night, and so it shouldn't, for Ted was majorly depressed.   ** _Not that Lily can help me anyway....nobody can._  ** 

 

Ted wasn't sure how long he'd feel like this for until 2 days later, Barney returned. 

~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~

 Alot of thought was needed in order to decide how to act appropriately. 5 days had passed and the Blonde had finally returning after a business trip in Russia had kept him occupied. He had been surrounded by beautiful accented woman who loved nothing more then a wealthy man in a suit, a Barney Stinson, as you will. However, all the woman in Russia couldn't keep Barney ' s thoughts elsewhere besides his friend.  Should he ignore Ted? Pretend nothing weird happened? Call him out on it? Or keep the secret under lock and key? It had taken him almost the full business trip outing to finally decide. He had a plan, and Barney would make sure he'd follow through with it this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

  
**_Oh God._ ** Ted had quickly sat down in the booth across from his friend Robin to keep from shaking like a leaf.  

He had checked- like he did everyday before coming into the bar but he hadn't counted on Barney sitting at the bar counter - instead of the groups typical booth. 

 

He should just leave. Tell Robin he forgot to grab something at home, something important, before Barney noticed him. 

Too late.

Barney Stinson was laughing at something a cute blonde was whispering in his ear and his eye twinkled as he listened. **_She must be a sure thing..._ ** Ted thought bitterly, unable to look away from Barney.  It had been 5 days since he had confessed to his friend Barney and the blonde seemed to be doing just fine. Ted however, was a complete wreck. 

 

The other man continued to laugh at the woman's comment as he turned slightly to survey the bar. **_He's probably looking to see if there's someone better he can go home with._**

His sudden erupt die in laughter interrupted Ted's thoughts as he finally noticed that Barney was staring at someone. **_Me!_ ** Ted's breath caught in his throat as he tried to look away but couldn't.  He was caught in Barney ' s trance as both men continued to stare at each other before the blonde coughed nervously, reaching for his drink. Eyeing wearily, he nodded, raising his glass up to Ted before taking a long swallow. Ted looked away, quietly mumbling ,"Hi" to Noone who could hear.

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"Hmm?..." Barney said haizly,  responding to Robin with only half interest. Ted had left half an hour ago and it wouldn't surprise Barney in the slightest if it was due to his presence.

 

  Robin growled, upset at being ignored, "I said are you going to invite Ted to the G N B social gathering tonight?" **_Oh right...._ ** Barney pursed his lips, unsure. **_The answer is no...NO! Your not ready for this._ ** Barney scoffed, "Of course, Ted's my friend is he not?"  Robin shrugged, in the past that would of been an easy answer but now....? She wasn't sure what the hell was going on with her two friends. **_Boys will be boys._**

           ☆ 

Everyone looked so good, fully decked out in suits as the head ups of G N B discussed financial plans. Men in full suits,  yes this is where Barney belonged.   ** _Maybe it was a good thing that Ted isn't coming tonight he probably wouldn't of fit in....._  ** The thoughts died in Barney ' s head as the devil himself walked shyly through the room with a beautiful Robin on his arm. Ted was wearing a suit and Ted looked....breath taking.  

 

Barney couldn't help but think that if Ted dressed like this everyday,  he'd have every woman swooning.  However, Barney Stinson was a man, not a woman and he wasnt intrigued or interested, just pleased. **_Just surprised is all_**...

 Barney decided it was time to take full advantage of the open bar tonight. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

" Why am I here again?" Ted whispered, doing his best to hide behind his best chick friend. Robin yanked him up and held onto his wrist hard. "Because I wanted you to be my date tonight and besides, it'd be good if you boys would kiss and make up tonight." Ted didn't have to ask to know what she was referring to. **_Kiss and make up...._ ** Ted groaned, imagining the burning taste of hard whiskey as Barney rammed  his tongue all the way down Ted's throat.  Grabbing his hair...pulling it...him...towards a more secluded area... Shaking his head, Ted tried to jump back into reality. It was these thoughts that had gotten him in trouble in the first place.  MAYBE just maybe if he was lucky,  Barney would forgive him.  ** _Maybe..._** Ted smiled at his escort,  leading Robin over to a finely dressed Marshall and Lily. **_What if I don't want_ _to be forgiven_**...

             ☆

The room buzzed with meaningless chatter and Ted couldn't help but think they where the worst. 15 minutes in, and Marshall was still discussing types of cheeses as he shifted nervously, looking back and forth between a bored and edgy Ted and a busy Barney from across the room. **_What happened to our little group?_ ** Marshall thought sighing.  It had been awkward when Ted had dated Robin and then they broke up, and it was now awkward with Ted and Barney. **_What did you do this time bud_**. Lily was sure it was Barney that had done something to fuck up their friendship but Marshall himself wasn't too sure.

Lily and Marshall where both partly right.

~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a few hours the "party" had started to die and Ted was all but thankful.  He wasn't drunk but he had a splitting headache and he would be glad to go home and go to bed.  

Lily had other ideas. 

 

"Come on guys, let's go back to Robin's and continue this party!" Barney eyed her wearily as he watched Ted from the corner of his eyes. He looked tired....defeated, and Barney couldn't help but feel bad again for leaving him alone that night, for being such a coward.  

 

Barney was about to pleasantly deny the invitation but a wicked glimmer flashed in Lily ' s eyes as she smiled coyly at Barney.  "Don't tell me your all out of tricks already Barney Stinson?" She baited. Barney fell for it like a sucker.  "Pft. Please, I have enough energy to out run a horse. I just didn't want you losers feeling bad. " With that he quickly grabbed his jacket as he headed for the door and to Robin's. Everyone eagerly followed behind him except Ted who hesitated.   ** _So where really doing this are we...._ ** "Come on Ted," Lily yelled over her shoulder. **_I guess so_**. Ted sighed, following suit.

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay boys, the game is I've Never. You all know the rules.  We say something we haven't done and if the others have done it, they take a drink...wait no. .a shot!. 

" I'll go first! " Marshall said eagerly.  "I've never.... cheated on my gf or bf before." Lily smiled approvingly at her husband and then shook her head as Barney downed his shot in one go, hissing at the burn. Smiling he winked at Robin and she shot him a playful hit on the shoulder. **_When did we start thinking it was okay to be a hoe?_** Ted had to wonder to himself. Only Lily and himself seem disgusted at Barney ' s pleasure.  

 

"Ted...Ted?" Ted snapped out of his thoughts, catching Marshalls eye."It's your turn bud." "O okay." Ted nodded slowly, avoiding Marshalls worried look. Hmm... **_I should pick something easy, nothing awkward._** Ted scanned his friends quickly and noticed that Barney was sitting close to Robin, appearing to be flirting with her. It was innocent enough,  neither Robin nor Barney had any intention of re-dating but it still got Ted's blood boiling. **_Fuck this_** , Ted thought. 

" I've never been tested for any STD's because of all the one night stands I've had."  Well Ted had wanted to make things awkward, and he had done a perfect job.  Lily and Marshall had been whispering their pet names to each other and had suddenly stopped at the question.  Robin eyed Ted confused and Barney stared- angrily at Ted.  Finally finding her voice, Lily commented, "umm. ..that's quit a specific question there Ted..."  Ted just smiled nervously , waving the comment off.  "I thought we where supposed to be personal...sorry." Barney slammed his shot down and grinned menacing at the architect. **_Shit what have I done..._** "Ted's absoloutely right," Barney said, faining a smile. "Speaking of which..." 

 

"I've never been in love with someone from this group." Barney asked, boldly directing the question at Ted. **_What a fucking dick! I'm not admitting to that._ ** Well Ted wouldn't bite. Lily and Marshall giggled, each taking a sip as they made googly eyes at each other. Their laughter died when they noticed the sudden atmosphere change in the room, both growing silent.

 

Ted didn't move. "Now now Teddy. Let's not lie. Bro's don't lie to fellow Bro's. " Ted growled at Barney ' s comment before smiling and downing his shot quickly. "That's right, I was with Robin and me and her where wonderful together, and if I'm not mistaken YOU dated her too, Barney. " Ted shot back,  daring the blonde to say something.  Instead Barney just smiled a slow smile before turning towards Robin.  "That's right, the GREAT Ted Mosby was dating the beautiful Robin Sherbesky. How could I forget, didn't Ted say he loved you after the first date? Tsk tsk." Barney scolded,  turning back to wag his finger at the architect. "Everyone knows the first rule in the bro code Teddy, always have an escape route if said woman from night before does not leave. Saying I Love You BEFORE sex, is not the way, and if you must know me and Robin never loved each other." Ted huffed, Robin and his break up had been tough and they only recently had gotten back together as friends and now Barney was bringing up old wounds. **_What a prick_**.

 

 

" Remember that old rule,I'm sure it's somewhere in the bro code, something about bro's  not sleeping with other bro's girls?" Ted shot back, slurring his words from the booze in affect. Barney and Robin had recently tried dating and it hadn't worked out so well, thankfully. It was a real dick move on his friends part for dating his ex."I'm sure that's it in there somewhere, right Stinson?" Barney didn't budge, his smile still glued to his face. He lifted his drink cooly and took a long sip, taking his time deliberately before he eyed Ted. " Of course Teddy, that's one of the most important rules, along with this one: fellow bro's will not sleep with other bro's as apart of said bro code,nor think about, or admit to wanting to sleep with said bro." Ted's face grew cold. Nobody but him and Barney knew that the blonde wasn't talking about Robin anymore. This was about that one night. "Or how about this one Teddy... I've never been interested in a ma-"

 

Ted rose from the royal red chair quickly before Barney could finish his question, it squeaking angrily on the floor from his force. **_I don't have to put up with this shit!_ ** "I don't have to sit here and put up with this shit!" Ted spat at his now ex friend, voicing his thoughts. " What ever you think happened that night Barney just...it's not even like....just fuck you!" Lily gaped, surprised by Ted's sudden outburst.  Robin tried to stop him but he shrugged her arm off his shoulder, not turning back to look as he slammed Robin's door behind him. The group watched him go as Barney got up heatedly and opened the door yelling after Ted, "Then what really happened Ted!" He slammed the door closed and plastered a smile on his face as his friends watched him, shocked, as he went to Robin's kitchen to grab some drinks.  

The atmosphere needed to pick up and booze would help.  ** _Booze always helps_**. Barney muttered solemnly.

Lily was starting to really regret her "brilliant idea."

 

 What Barney and the rest of the group didn't realize was that Barney had lied during the game, I've Never. Barney was so good at lying, he had lied to himself brilliantly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~

This was not his fault. Yes, Barney had gone way too far and he felt like shit for it especially since other nights situation was also his fault, but Ted had started this fight. **_STD's?? What the fuck. Ted wishes he could be a glorious one night stand with me._ ** Barney wasn't planning on fighting with Ted, he hadn't wanted to but what was done was done.

 

Over the last couple days Barney had been in Russia thinking about what he should do with Ted and after alot of soul searching he had finally decided upon an answer and he was excited and nervous to follow through with his plan- that was until tonight. Ted had spoiled everything.  ** _You just lost yourself a friend Ted Mosby_**.

              ☆

 Over the next few days Barney had gotten lost in his work, spending hours in his office, alone. Robin had tried to call a few times to check up on him and even Lily asked what had happened between him and Ted but he ignored all their calls.  He'd keep to himself for awhile, or at least that's what he was hoping for...Unfortunately Barney wasn't having much luck this week. 

 

"Stinson!" Barney,  turned  seeing his boss in the door frame. "Arthur," he nodded back politely.  His boss was going through a rough divorce and had been complaining for weeks about his bitch of an ex wife taking their dog, Tugboat. Frankly, Barney could give two shits, not that'd he tell his boss that. Barney was no kiss ass but he wasn't stupid either and he much perfered to keep his job.

  " We've been working on building the new G N B structure and I've been hearing lately that you had some ideas of your own to contribute to the new structure? " oh boy did he ever! Barney sat up excitedly,  finally listening. "Yes sir, I do.I believe that I have some ideas that can help G N B grow up to-" Arthur cut him off. "That's great kid,you can discuss that with your new partner over the next month." Barney gaped. **_New partner?_**  Barney hated playing with others, and he hated it even more so when he learned who it was. "Yes, one of your fellow employees, Erikson, I think his name is, threw out a name of a hot new architect that's been making waves at his firm." Barney swallowed hard processing the news. "E....Erikson  recommended someone? As in, Marshall Erikson??" The blonde squeaked out.  Arthur waved at the air, as he began to make his leave. "Ya...ya something like that." 

 

Barney stared at the now empty door that his boss had just came from. **_So I'm going to be working with Ted Fricken Mosby. Fan - fucking - tastic. I wonder if Ted knows._**  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~

So if this was really happening then Ted was going to make sure that Barney knew how much he hated having the other man work with him. When he had taken the job at Goliath National Bank,he assumed he'd be working with Marshall considering he had gotten him the job but he had been dead wrong. 

 

The day after accepting, his best friend came up to him in the bar, face flushed and head down, before spilling the truth to the architect. Ted had been furious- telling Marshall he would turn down the job but thought better. G N B was already writing up a contract with his name on it and declining now would just make Marshall look bad. So he had only one real choice. .. man up.  He'd have to work with Barney but it didn't mean he'd play nice. **_I'll make sure Barney regrets coming to work every morning._**

           ☆

Ted breathed hard, awaiting for his ex friend to show up. It was crowded at work and at home Ted would have more space to work against his better judgment.  Barney thought he could say anything and get away with it but the brunette had had enough. As soon as Barney walked through that door he was going to give the man a piece of his mind. There was a loud knock on the door which would of been odd but with the non - existing friendship between Ted and Barney, it made sense that Barney would knock. His friends didn't need to knock.  

Taking one last breath, Ted squeaked out, "It's open."  ** _Remember Ted, give Barney a piece of your mind, he made a fool of you._ ** Ted knew he had started it but he pretended he didn't all the same. 

 

His breath caught in his throat as the short haired blonde walked in, closing the door quietly behind him. He tugged at his scarf nervously before pulling it off, and throwing it on the couch the blonde once loved to sit in.  Things where so different now. Barney sighed silently before turning to look at his "new partner."   ** _Should I say anything?  I'll just ignore him. No wait we have to work. I can't ignore him._**   "Well should we...." Barney stopped dead in his tracks, looking at Ted for the first time before quickly looking away, embarrassed.

                   

"B...barney..." Ted whispered, face ghosting white. This isnt what Ted pictured. **_Had Barney suddenly gotten hotter since the last time I saw him??!_ ** Barney ran his hand through his hair, looking around awkwardly at everything but Ted. **_What’s Ted looking at??_** Like Barney didn't know.  Ted looked so shocked and worried and so…. so…Barney didn't dare finish his thought.

"Hiya Ted..." He whispered back, nervously. Shouldn't Barney be pissed at Ted? Barney wasn't sure but at the moment he sure as hell wasn't feeling mad or upset.

 

  
**_Yell! Scream! Say something, anything to Barney! He deserves it!_ ** Where was the anger? Barney ' s beautiful blue eyes twinkled as the blonde shifted nervously, avoiding Ted's gaze, but smiling a small smile.  ** _Lost in Barney ' s eyes._** Ted really should get mad….but he just couldn't. Ted was fucked, and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

Ted had been having an unexplained and embarrassing month so nothing should surprise him but this....

This was indeed surprising, and neither boys seemed to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god, sorry it took me so long to update, not that many people are interested in Barney/Ted fanfiction nowadays :P But none the less heres the next chapter lol. Sorry no kissing yet :O *hint hint* perhaps next chapter :P


	5. A Phenomenon in Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which nothing good could possibly happen after 2 am...?

 

 

No fighting, no arguing, not even so much as a thrown chair, but they where talking and that was something.

 

Okay so it wasn't the hot steamy surprised sex that Ted would of much prefered but his friend, Barney, was talking to him again and that was a start. 

 

Sitting in the room of his bedroom- that only too long ago seemed too large of a space-  now seemed overly cramped as Ted sat on his bed and Barney took the officer chair. **_How the fuck did I talk Barney into coming into my bedroom??_** Ted shook his head, refocusing on the papers Barney had set in front of him. _**Don't fuck up this time Ted!**_

 

Looking over the blueprints, Ted couldn't help but smile. "Barney...these are brilliant," Ted breathed, amazed at what he was looking at. The G N B employee may not of been an architect but he sure had some fantastic ideas.

The blonde blushed at the kind words,  twiddling with his fingers as he started to chew on his nails. A disgusting habit, but Ted couldn't help but think that Barney made it sexy. 

"So when do you think we can get the ball rolling and get this beaut up?" Ted thought about the question,pursing his lips. "I suppose it all depends Barney...could take awhile will just have to wait and see." Swirling around in the chair,Barney scooted closer to the bed. "Teeee-eed, you know I'm impatient." The architect sighed, rubbing his tired head as his temple throbbed. "I know Barney...I know...." **_How do you think I feel..._**

~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~

So they where pretending. It's not that Barney was opposed to that, he did almost every night with a new bar chick, it's how he got most into bed so easily. But playing pretend with his best friend? Barney tapped his chin thoughtfully,   ** _Ya I can manage that._ ** They wouldn't discuss their previous scuffle, they could pretend.  After leaving poor Ted drunk in the rain that one night, Barney at least owed it up to him.

 

"Ted I...." Barney ' s voice stopped cold as he watched his partner curled up in bed, fast asleep. He had gone out to take a leak and was returned with a new sight. They had been working hard the past 6 hours and Ted must of been exhausted, squished up in a ball in bed while he hugged his pillow close to his chest. Shifting into a new position and trying to get comfortable, Ted whimpered impatiently. Pursing his lips together, Barney reached over and gingerly pulled the covers over Ted's sleeping body. 

For now, they had gotten a lot done. For now...Barney was happy.  

             ☆

Marshall looked through his beer glass at Barney with confused eyes. 

"So you mean to tell me that you..." Marshall pointed at his friend while he sighed impatiently, nodding yes, "and Ted...Ted Mosby, the same Ted that left Robin's place storming mad...have been playing nice lately. Arching an eyebrow Barney shifted to scan the bar for potential. "That's right Marshall..." He replied only half listening as his friend continued to rant.  Ted was sleeping, Barney however had not gotten any sleep yet and he was starting to feel the effects. 

 

"Perhaps it's time I take my leave...oh wait a second...hang on now, who's that?" 

A who's that indeed, as Marshall turned to see what Barney was gaping at in turn, also gaped a little. A very attractive petite blonde was sitting by herself at the bar and she was crying. **_Perfect._ ** Barney thought to himself slyly. Vulnerable woman where always easier targets.

Sliding out of the booth gracefully, Barney sent a goodbye wink over to his pal as he lifted his glass to him in return. Marshall knew if Barney played his cards right, he wouldn't be coming back here for awhile.  

Marshall had guessed right. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~

"It's okay baby, you can be honest. How hot was she?" Marshall cringed at Lily ' s question. He hated lying to his wife but she had been super hot. "For Barney ' s high standards, she would of been a 10/10 easily." Lily clucked approvingly then turned and smiled as a little more than usual, ruffled Barney walked in. "Sex hair..." Lily breathed into Marshall's ear as the couple laughed. Barney walked over, grabbing the booth table quickly as his legs gave out. "Whew that sure was something..." Barney laughed, trying to straighten his legs out again. That woman he had picked up earlier had been wild and as the aftermath of the sex began to wear off, his body was starting to feel it. Sliding into the seat across the happy couple he grinned as Lily asked, "So, was she as big of a freak as Marshall was claiming her to be?" Her husband's cheeks flushed red as he turned away, embarrassed.  "Lily I..I never..." Ignoring him, Barney leaned closer into Lily and whispered back, "Better." 

 Lily laughed leaning back as she surveyed her friend. "Guess your on a roll then."

 

"Who's on a roll?" Ted asked innocently as he came up beside his friends. Startled, they turned and Lily smiled, getting out of the booth to give her friend a hug. "Oh Ted me and Marshmallow missed you!" Hugging back,  Ted smiled, melting into Lily ' s embrace. She gave the best hugs ever, Marshall was one lucky man and he knew it. 

Sliding back into her seat she took a sip of her drink and motioned for Ted to join them. "We were just discussing Barney ' s 10/10 that he scooped up earlier today."  Ted's smile froze at Lily ' s words, and his body grew rigid. **_Barney ' s 10/10...._ ** Laughing Barney scooted over, making room for Ted. "God it had been three days since me and my "buddy" here have gotten any action.  Was starting to think something was broken." Barney ' s laugh died as he frowned, looking up at Ted's distant face.  Ted had only heard about half of whatever Barney was talking about, zoning out in his own world.

 

  
**_Barney ' s 10/10...Barney ' s 10/10...._** "Ted?" Barney asked, as everyone looked at their friend with worried eyes.  Finally gaining some grip, Ted coughed, embarrassed.  "I um...that's awesome Barn,  which play did you use to get her?" Ted was trying his best to be calm. **_Barney does this all the time...you know that Barney sleeps around...with WOMAN. .don't over think this Ted_**. Ted was having a hard time listening to himself, he was too busy over thinking unfortunately. Barney started to explain his move of winning the stunning woman, Trisha,  as her name turned out to be, but Ted was already half way out the door before Barney could finish. "Ted?" Marshall called out, confused. Nobody had a clue of what was going on ,nobody but Barney. Shooting back his drink, he attempted an innocent smile at his friends, shrugging his shoulders, "Guess Teddy ' s too busy to hear another one of my amazing stories."

             ☆

"God....what's wrong with me, I'm such a fucking idiot." True, Ted had known from day one that his friend Barney Stinson was a womanizer and a great one at that. It never bothered him until lately. Lately.... "Ugh." It was stupid,  he knew it, but apart of him had hoped, had yearned for the last three days to be because of Ted. Barney ALWAYS slept with a different woman every night but the last three days he had gone home with nothing, and Ted had prayed it was because of him. " I'm so fucking stupid..." Ted whispered to himself,clutching  his forehead in his hands. He had left the bar and had stepped out and over into the alley. He was alone, and it was here that Ted cried over Barney for the second time in one month. 

What Ted didn't know however was that 

Barney had a secret. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"So that was weird...right?" Robin said, doing her best to catch up to her friend who was busy hailing them a taxi. Shrugging his shoulders, Barney didn't respond.  Robin had missed Ted's earlier episode but Lily had filled her in later, much to nobody's surprise. If Lily knew something, then everyone was going to know about it too.

 

"I don't know what the big deal is anyway, so Ted left the bar, so what?" Barney just wanted everyone to drop the whole Ted thing. "So what?? Ted came to the bar and then he just left. Don't you find that strange, even a little? Or perhaps you don't care, I thought you and Ted where cool now."  ** _Breath Barney, breath. Just ignore her, she doesn't know what's going on._ ** Barney desperately wanted someone to talk to about the weirdness between  him and the architect but he thought better. Ted was already embarrassed enough, nobody else needed to know.  Robin took her friends silence as conformation. "I guess not...honestly Barney..." "YOU KNOW WHAT? HONESTLY ROBIN YOU AND LILY NEED TO JUST MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS SOMETIMES. I REALLY TRULY BELIEVE THAT." Barney didn't know when he had started yelling, but he was having a hard time stopping.  "YOU KNOW WHAT...just..just never mind." A bright yellow cab pulled up and Barney opened the door for his friend. "Here you take this one." Robin stared at Barney, gaping as the blonde started to walk away. "Barney...?" She asked hesitantly. Barney just kept going. It was pouring rain, he was cold, he was miserable, and he was wet. Frankly, Barney could give two shits.

             ☆

Barney was good at pretending and it was because of this skill that got him through the "awkwardness" between him and Ted at work. The days passed and nothing was mentioned, nothing was said. Barney didn't brag about any chick's and Ted didn't ask. Things where going well until a couple months into the project. 

Suddenly things took a turn for the unexpected.

 

"Hey Teddy,I see you marked down plus one on the guest invitation. You going to be bringing that hot mom of yours for the G N B grand unveiling?" Ted laughed, Barney always liked to joke about his mom. ** _At least he better be joking._ ** "Something even better, Barn." He had started using nicknames again and Barney hadn't seemed to mind as long as it wasn't Swarley.  "There's better then your mom?" His friend joked back. Closing his eyes he leaned back and rested his head against the bed. "Yup, I'm bringing Stacey."  "Ha your mom and I....- wait what? Stacey?? Who the hell is that?!" Ted smiled, as he reminisced about her. "You guys don't know her...yet. I met her a long time ago at college and we just recently re connected. She was cute, I was date less.  I asked, she said yes and here we are now!" Ted opened his eyes and looked at Barney. "I won't have to be a date less loser at my own function,  isn't that great?" Barney ' s eyes clouded over, lost in thought as Ted continued to ramble on about his new found love interest.

 

  
**_Ha! What's Ted trying to do? Make me jealous? Fat chance!_ ** Barney scoffed to himself, leaning back. He suddenly wasn't in the mood to continue working with Ted, but they had been working non stop since 8 am so it was no wonder Barney was tired so suddenly. 

 

Ted continued to gush and after another 5 minutes Barney had had enough. "That's all fine and great Teddy boy but remember we won't be finished building for at least another couple months." Ted nodded eagerly, missing Barney's point. "I know, I know it's still a little ways away but I'm just so excited and so is Stacey!" **_Mhmm...._ ** "Gold digger!," Barney coughed out, making sure Ted didn't understand him. Straightening his tie Barney got ready to leave. 

"All I'm saying bud is don't "Ted it up" like you did with your first date with Robin." Laughing Ted shook his head. " I learned that lesson the hard way."  As Barney redressed and headed to the door he stopped to nod goodbye to Ted, who waved back,"Thanks for everything Barn. I couldn't of accomplished all of this without your help, your a good friend." 

Barney swallowed hard, nodding in response as he took his leave. 

Funny, right now Barney didn't feel like such a great friend. In fact, he hadn't felt like one in a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

His cell phone rang and he noticed it was Stacey. Flashing a small smile to himself he quickly answered, "Hello? Stacey, hi, how was your day?" As she replied Ted's thoughts started to drift. 

He hadn't meant to bring anyone to the grand opening, perhaps Robin as a friend but she had a steady boyfriend currently.  Then he had met Stacey and as they had caught up on each others life's and reconnected, Ted couldn't help but wonder if maybe Stacey was sent to him for a reason.  

 

Ted was a man of faith, a believer of destiny although his hopes had dwindled lately but perhaps Stacey was put into his life for a purpose. ** _To make me forget..._** Stacey was sweet she was smart she was pretty and she was...she was Stacey. **_She's defiantly no Barney._  **Ted wondered if maybe it was a good thing she wasn't like Barney. She was gentle, and soft, quiet and shy, but very sweet. She was also a girl which Ted thought was pretty essential if he wanted to have his own kids in the future. Sighing, Ted responded to something she asked him through the phone and Ted couldn't help but dread the idea of Barney bringing a date the grand opening. No matter what reasoning he told himself, Ted would always want Barney., regardless of what he was or wasn't.  ** _Barney...._**  

 

Had Barney been jealous over the news of Stacey? Ted wished with all the fiber in his being thst the answer was yes, yes Barney was jealous but he knew he'd be lying to himself. 

Stacey wouldn't ever be better then Barney but perhaps she could help him heal. Maybe. ..just maybe.

There were alot of Maybes... and not a hell of a lot of certainties. 

       ☆

 

 

 

It was late, too late. Ted was smart enough to realize nothing good ever happened after 2 am but here he was, four beers in, and the clock angrily reading 2:15. He had sent Stacey home earlier then he had anticipated, dropping her off safely right after the party ended at 11:30 instead of inviting her to his place like she so eagerly hinted at. He should of followed suit, hailed a cab and went to bed himself before the phenominum could wreak anymore havoc in his already fucked life. He liked his good friend, couldn't stop thinking about him-was crazy for him, and Barney was 100% straight.

 

 

"God what's wrong with me, " Ted weeped into his hands. This was now the third time that Ted Theodore Mosby had cried over his good friend, Barney Stinson, and he was getting tired of the same routine. "Where's my happy ending?" He muttered to himself as his cell phone rang. 

***Ring!***

***Ring!***

Ted chose to ignore it.

***RING RING!***

***RING!!***

Ted could swear his phone was getting louder. Rubbing his eyes he flipped his phone open and mumbled a sullen ,"Hello?" A gruff voice Ted didn't recognize responded, "I'm so sorry to bother you so late Mr.Mosby but it's...well..your building... *ahem* well this Rick Cranston calling, I've been working on the construction for the new G N B design you built and um...it's a lovely building by the way..." Ted sighed, **_Get to the damn point already!_ ** "Mhm, thanks," he mumbled back at Rick. "Well somebody told me you'd still be awake and it's just...there's something I need you to take a look at on the roof. We made kinda a big mistake....well a fuck up." Rick breathed heavily on the phone, awaiting a response.  

 

  
**_A mistake?_ ** Ted frowned, he hadn't remembered noticing anything when he did a quick walk through with Stacey earlier. Then again when Barney had showed up with his stunning date Ted wasn't thinking about the building anymore.

 

"Ted?" A voice asked hesitantly. "Huh?oh ya, um k I'll come down and check it out right away." "Really? Shit thanks man, I'm so sorry about this and I really appreciate you coming down. I'll explain more face to face. Once again I really am sorry man. I just don't want my ass skinned tomorrow morning." Ted didn't reply,instead grabbing his jacket as he headed for the door.

My love life's non existing and my buildings falling apart.

 

Ted should of yelled, told Rick to fix his own mistakes, tell him to fuck off it was 2:20 in the morning but for some reason something stopped him. Perhaps it was the booze, or the fact that Ted simply had nothing else better to do, but regardless Ted would go.

 

_**I guess I don't get a happy ending after all.** _

 

What Ted didn't realize was that the phenominum was at work. 

                  ☆

 Brr it was cold, hugging his cashmere jacket closer to him Ted looked up and into the clouds. What once had been a mere dream, now loomed high in the sky, gleaming with success. Eyeing the roof the architect frowned as he opened the newly built glass doors and headed up to the top floor. **_Perhaps I should of brought some drinks for some after party celebrating._**

Everyone had congratulated him earlier, patting him on the back and various toasts with wide smiles and Ted did his best to bask in it. Robin had commented on how popular he'd be with the ladies and Ted smiled weakly in return. "That's right, that's what it's all about. The success story I'll tell my future kids about their future mother." Robin nodded in agreement, rubbing his back before making her way across the room.At least one of them believed that lie. 

All the lies he had to keep telling everyone, telling himself and then Barney had turned up, and that's when Ted decided he couldn't lie anymore.

 

His date was absoloutely beautiful -not that Ted's date wasn't a looker but Barney ' s date... Ted recognized Trisha from the description Lily had mentioned earlier. Trisha looked gorgeous and Barney- breath taking. As the two waltzed hand in hand around the room chatting everyone up, Ted couldn't help but think the two seemed perfect together. **_In sync..._ ** It was true, Stacey and Ted got along pitch perfect, in fact Ted found himself enjoying everything about his date but Stacey was Stacey and Ted loved Barney not Stacey and nothing was going to change that. 

 

"Holy fuck...." Ted whispered to himself in the elevator. "I love Barney....I'm in love with Barney Stinson." It had been the first time he dared breath the words.Ted couldn't lie, nor could he hide his true feelings anymore. Ted loved Barney   But the feelings where unrequited and Barney deserved nothing but the best. 

If that wasn't bad enough, Ted over heard Lily gushing to his best friend,Marshall, how happy Barney seemed with Trisha. Words like, "Perhaps this is the one," and "Ya Barney is smitten, he thinks she's a keeper," stabbed Ted heavily in the chest. Barney never saw anyone as anything more then a fuck but here this Trisha woman was- practically a stranger! And stealing Barney ' s heart from him. 

  
**_His heart was never mine to steal..._ ** Ted thought miserably.  

If Trisha was who made Barney truly happy then who was Ted, his best friend, to stand in their way.

 

The elevator dinged, snapping the architect out of this thoughts and Ted stepped out- gaping in shock at what he saw in front of him. 

"B...Barney?"

Emerging from the shadows the blonde smiled nervously, picking at his cuff links before gazing up at his friend.  

"Ted."

_**Oh god what now?** _

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SO sorry for updating so bloody late! Its been weeks but I've been struggling with the ending to this story, All the pieces where there, just not the words :P
> 
> So I KNOW I KNOW, this chapter is a bummer. Theres not really a lot of anything going on but to be honest, I was only going to make ONE final chapter but it was just so bloody long I didn't want to over whelm you all so I broke it up :P gonna publish the last chapter in 5 minutes lol :P SO.....hope you guys like everything * looks around nervously*  
> Comments or Loves would be greatly appreciated :) these two are one of my favourite parings and I hope I do them some justice.


	6. Tedding It Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ted realizes the phenominum isn't such a bad thing and  
> in which barney realizes Ted "Tedding it up," Isn't such a bad thing either.

 

 

 

It had taken hours to set everything up but when finished everything looked spectacular. He had anxiously been counting down the hours until he could begin to work but he had wanted everything to look perfect. 

 

"So what do you think?" Stepping forward shyly, Barney ' s eyes remained locked on Ted, watching and waiting.

"What do I think? It's....Barney it's amazing!" Ted wasn't exaggerating.

 

 The small metal bars that where solar paneled where strung with beautiful bright lights as small red roses adorned every third set of bulbs.Ted's Zen  fountain that he had insisted G N B include in the build, had bright beautiful glimmers of purple, pink and green as small white flower petals danced throughout the ripples.  To top it all off Barney had set up a beautiful table with the stereotypical cheesy romance ideas of candle light and champaign. Classical music began to pick up and Ted stood frozen,amazed. Barney had literally thought of everything.

 

"Barney....I...wow.just wow. You've never been much of a romantic type but when you go all out you go all out." Barney smiled, pleased at his friends reaction. The blonde looked down briefly to straighten his already perfect tie and when he finished he looked up to find Ted's eyes shinning as if he where holding back tears. "Ted....?" Barney whispered, unsure. **_God I'm such an idiot, Ted will never let me live this one down..._**

"Sorry I'm just so um,so uh, shocked is all. Trisha must be something else, I'm real happy for you Barn, she's going to love it..shes going to love you ! It's so...perfect....just like youu..-YOU both! God I hope to find that one day too-" Ted spoke, catching himself at the end.

 

  
**_Are you shitting me right now? Is Ted being for real..._ ** Ted began to ramble like a deranged lunatic and Barney rolled his eyes, stepping closer to the brunette. "Ted....TED!" Barney half yelled over Ted's constant chatter. The brunette quieted down, looking miserably embarrassed.

"Honestly Ted, are you that daft?"

All Ted could do was stare, bewildered at his friends comment and Barney sighed.

"Let's start from the beginning, Ted," Barney spoke as if he where talking to a small child. 

Whincing he replied, "I'd rather you not." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~

"So about all those things you said you'd do to me?" Barney grinned Micheviously, trying to break the tension. "You dont want to talk about that Teddy?" He flashed his winning smile, hoping to comfort the brunette.Ted blushed, thinking back to the horribly awkward night. "If i hadnt of been drunk you would of never..." "If you hadnt been drunk then I didnt do my job Teddy." "Haha ya...wait-wait What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" **_FUCK!_  **Barney cursed silently.

The architect smiled through cracked lips, suddenly growing nervous. Barney suddenly remembered that getting his best friend drunk to confess his feelings was his idea, not Ted's. Suddenly Barney started to feel nervous and the other man noticed. 

 

"Barney?? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"  Shifting foot to foot, Barney grinned sheepishly.  " I wanted to know if you actually like me or if there really was a Barb." **_Really was a Barb....Barb??_  **"Oh, Barb." 

Silence stretched out what felt for forever in Barney ' s ears. **_Stupid stupid, why did I bring this shit up?_**   "Ted...?" "So let me get this straight, Barney," Ted rubbed his temples, suddenly realizing how late it was. "You got me drunk...let me emphasize the on PURPOSE part, and when you found out the truth you left me.  I may of been smashed that night but I'm not fucking stupid Barney. I can piece two and two together." Barney cringed at Ted's conclusion, but it had been true, all of it and it was time Barney maned  up... or maybe not. 

 

"I LIED ABOUT TRISHA , " Barney blurted out, choosing to change the subject.  Ted's face twisted into a mask of anger and confusion. "What do you mean you lied about Trisha? ? And just how many lies have you been spitting out lately? Or how about since we became friends?" 

 

Barney had always been complicated ever since day one when they had awkwardly met in the men's washroom. Who knew that taking a piss would ultimately lead up to the events of now.

 

Groaning barney ran his hand through his hair as he turned and started pacing. "I mean I lied about liking her. I knew if I mentioned some things to Lily that it would only be a matter of time before you found out. You and Stacey, I thought you where trying to make me jealous so I wanted to return the favor..." Barney ' s voice growing quieter with each sentence.  "I'm sorry Ted." 

 

Ted stared at his friend hard for  a long time. He shouldn't be surprised that Barney would stoop so low, but he still couldn't help but be upset. "Is that what you wanted Barney? To try and take away my happiness? Would that make you feel better about yourself?" Ted finished his thoughts, coming up to stand in front of the blonde. After everything, Ted at least deserved the truth.  Gaping, Barney looked at his friend, eyes brimming with tears but refusing to fall. **_Stinson's don't cry_**. "You can't honestly think that Ted, can you? I didn't even bang her Ted, I swear, I didn't." Ted didn't respond, looking anywhere but at his friend. "Ted..." Barney whispered,  bringing his pale hand to rest on the brunettes cheek.  

 

"What am I to think Barney?" Ted whimpered back, clear liquid beginning to fall as he cursed himself for crying in front of Barney. "That I had an awesome way of showing you how much I liked you," He responded shrugging his shoulders. "Your just not at my level of awesomeness yet to see that." 

 

For anyone who didn't know Barney well, they'd consider him a narcissist. Yes, it was true he was but Ted knew it was also a defense mechanism when his friend felt threatened or scared. 

 

Sighing he turned and rested his head on Barney ' s shoulder, trying hard to stiffen his sobs. It was late and Ted wanted to go to bed.  Realizing much of what Barney said to Ted made no sense he groaned, running his fingers through his friends hair. "Look I know you don't understand the shit I do half the time, and hell sometimes I don't either, but honestly, I meant for Trisha to be a good thing for me and you."

  
**_Me and and you....._ ** Ted's thoughts kicked into hyper drive as he thought of the blondes words. **_Me AND you..._** "Me and you?" Ted managed to squeak out and Barney smiled, cocking his head to look at his friend. "Ya, me and you Theodore." 

Ted was putty, Ted was dizzy...and Ted wasnt thinking anymore.

 

Ted was so done.

 

The brunettes lips came crashing down hard on Barney as he grabbed onto the blondes tie for balance. 

Surprised, Barney laughed, removing Ted's hands from his brand new tie, as he smoothed the fabric back out. Ted would of complained but Barney untied his scarf quickly and wrapped it around Ted neck, pulling the architect back into him- and in for another kiss.  

 

Ted could feel his lips bruise as he forcefully fought Barney ' s soft lips in his own. He had been waiting for this -wanting this for months and what once was a dream was finally becoming a reality. Now was not the time to play nice with Barney.

  ** _Besides....everyone knows Barney likes it rough..._**  

 

Ted whimpered he was too desperate for any play. He needed this now, he needed Barney. "Barney...." Ted whined between a mouthful of his friend and the blonde scolded, placing his index finger over the brunette and silencing him with his tongue down his throat. Grabbing the back of his head, Ted forcefully pushed his friend closer to him so he could stick his tongue down Barney ' s throat as far as he possibly could.

 

 "Now now, I'm supposed to be the impatient one, isn't that right Teddy boy?" Barney teased, gasping for breath as he released Ted's tongue from his mouth. A line of spit trailed off his tongue and the player licked it up, truly enjoying his best friends want-need for him. It was no secret that Barney loved being the centre of attention and thats what he got when he was around Ted. 

 

Ted growled as Barney in twined his fingers in Ted's short hair, tugging teasingly. "Hmmm...?" Barney cooed, purring. "Ya, ya," he grumbled back, quickly taking the full length of Barney ' s finger in his mouth. Making sure the blonde was watching, Ted started to suck slowly up and down, before speeding up quickly. Barney ' s eyes trailed up and down Ted's body as he watched with lust filled eyes. "Best finger fucking ever," Barney joked as his eyelids fluttered close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

Getting caught up in the moment Barney wrapped his arm around Ted's waist and steered them both towards the table, throwing his scarf over Ted's shoulder where it fell forgotten.Sitting down, Barney directed Ted's body on top of him, sprawling his legs apart to make room for his body. Straddling Barney ' s hips, Ted looked at his angelic blonde, who was also looking back, staring hard.

Giggling nervously, Ted leaned forward, nuzzling Barney ' s neck shyly. As the other man hummed a noise of approval, Ted took it as a good sign and decided to get bolder. Reaching down, Ted stroked, what felt like a good size hard on, and it twitched excitedly in response. Just as the architect was about to make a smart ass comment, he froze. **_Wait does Barney even know what he really wants? I've liked Barney for months and he's liked me for what,one day? Oh god am I taking advantage of Barney?!_ ** Ted would of laughed at the irony if he wasn't so worried.

 

Sensing his doubt, Barney gently cupped Ted's face in his hand and tilted it towards him. "What's the matter Theodore, the great Stinson doesn't cut it for you anymore?" He meant it as a joke but there was worry masked underneath. 

Ted grinned sheepishly , licking his lips seductively as reassurance. That's all Barney needed. Grabbing Ted's hand, he placed it on his own hard on and began to rub - hard,  moaning at the friction of his balls bouncing back and forth. "God...." Ted groaned,biting hard on his lip as he watched Barney ' s legs begin to shake and tremble. This was so unbelievably hot. Barney was really enjoying this and Ted couldn't help but rub it in. **_The great Stinson quivering in his pants over the likes of me! Please God don't let me be dreaming._**

 

"Wow Barney, not even going to buy me dinner first?" Ted teased as he enjoyed the feel of Barney ' s Italian suit pressed tight from the hardened cock under his hand.  Rolling his eyes, Barney leaned forward, but still making sure the brunette had room to touch him, and removed an elegant silver lid that had the fanciest spaghetti Ted had ever seen.

"Jesus..." He whispered, surprised. Barney really had thought of every cheesy thing that he knew Ted would eat up. 

"No, but close," Barney replied jokingly and Ted elbowed him teasingly.  "You wish Stinson,"  He winked, giving Barney ' s pants a hard squeeze.  "Now behave yourself," He joked and Barney laughed as Ted saw a glimmer of mischief cross his face. "Uh oh Barney what are you plannin..." Ted didn't get to finish his sentence as Barney dropped half the plate of food onto Ted's head. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~

"Barney! OH MY GOD!" Ted removed his hand from the blondes crotch and was about to jump up when Barney held him firmly in place.  Grinning widely, he leaned forward and slurped up a noodle dangling in front of Ted's face.  "Mmm , your just like what I thought you would taste like..." Barney smirked, licking the side of a Ted's cheek seductively. "Actually. ..mmm even better." "Bar...NeE! " Ted yelped out as Barney began to devour his neck, licking the spaghetti sauce away and leaving little bite marks all across Ted's throat. Fuck the mess, the architect was in pure ecstasy.  

 

Throwing the plate away, Barney looked on in horror as Ted took a handful of loose spaghetti and began rubbing it all over Barney ' s fresh Italian pressed top.  

 

"CHRIST TED ARE YOU CRAZY?!" "Says the one who just dumped food on their date," replied Ted smugly before catching himself. **_Date....what is this anyway??"_** Luckily for Ted he didn't have time to over think things, "You know when you told me you wanted to ruin my suits, I thought you had... something else in mind," Ted choked on Barney ' s words, remembering confessing to the blonde drunk. **_Him and his stupid suites, I just want to rip them off him... Then when I'm good and ready, I'm a finish up all over his nice brand new suit..._ ** His words echoed in the back of his mind. Groaning lust fully, Ted leaned back on Barney ' s sprawled legs. "So what if I do, what you gonna do about it?" The architect replied coolly. He didn't want Barney to realize just how turned on he was.

 

"So Theodore Mosby, the great and famous architect thst everybody wants to have and to fuck, tell me this," Barney grabbed the scruff of Ted's neck and pushed the brunette closer to him. Ted could feel  Barney ' s hot breath and his words sent chills down Ted's spine as the blonde whispered into his ear, "Why don't you paint me a picture. Show me a DETAILED blue print of what exactly it is you want to ruin and how." 

 

Perhaps it was the booze, or the fact that it was now 3:30 in the morning and Ted was exhausted, or perhaps it was the food that Ted was a sucker  for or the strong sharp cologne thst radiated off his close friend, or perhaps it was just simply the fact that Barney Stinson was a smooth talker and everybody knew it. Whatever the reasoning, Ted would chalk it up to all those things as he grabbed Barney ' s collar forcefully.

Ted wanted Barney to fuck the shit out of him - NOW! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~

"Holy fuck!" Barney wheezed as Ted grinded his body forcefully down on the blonde.  "Holy fuck T-" "Pants.off.now." Ted demanded gruffly and Barney couldn't help but stare. **_When the hell did Ted grow a pair?!_ ** Before he could ponder his thoughts any longer, Ted already had Barney ' s belt off and he was already working undoing his pants.  Ted looked beautiful- his long eye lashes opening and closing angelically as he worked hard on pulling his pants down as far as Barney ' s sitting posture would allow.

 

"Fuck me.  Now." Ted reached into Barney ' s underpants and grabbed the blondes hard on for the first time.  Barney heard an approving growl escape the brunettes mouth as he began to bend down...down closer...closer...  ** _Oh god is Ted going to suck me off?! Ted my best friend...Ted the man...a man_** Barney was freaking out.

 

"Wa. ..wait! How. ..how do you know you truly want this? How can you be so sure??" Ted stopped playing with Barney and looked, concern growing in his Chesnut eyes. "Because Barney, I really truly do." Barney wasn't convinced. "Hell just a year ago you where spell bound over Robin, proclaiming her love to the heavens. For God's sake Ted you where telling me you wanted to propose to her and now your...well look at you!"

 

 

"People change," Ted whispered back. He prayed he was right, he needed Barney to clean up his act, to love him and only him."  Barney simply just nodded. 

 

"So where we're we?" Barney asked, trying his best to sound sexy and not at all scared or worried.

 

Barney had fucked many a woman, over 300 and counting and he had done over 15 different positions, inventing a few of his own along the way but Ted was not a woman, he was a man. Ted also had a dick,  which was quit different from that of a vagina.  To top it all, Barney was certain Ted hadn't fucked any guys either and therefore would be looking to him for guidance.  Barney had guessed wrong. 

 

"We where just at the part where I was gonna ride you like a fucking horse." Ted noticed Barney ' s cheeks flush red and he pressed on teasingly,"Or perhaps you can turn around and I'll full fill my fantasy of fucking you dry?" Barney groaned huskly,  remembering a drunk Ted confessing said thing to him. **_There is no way in fuck anybody is going to fuck me not even Ted....I'm not some fucking girl_**. The brunette leaned in close whispering, "Would you like that Barn? Your beautiful ass up in the air and me behind you, fucking you wildly until you lose yourself in pure ecstasy?" ** _Whoa what the fuck_**. Barney gulped, Ted seemed so sure of himself, determination gleaming in his eyes. He had never  seen this side of Ted before, none of his friends, not even Robin, and Barney fucking loved it.  He was so turned on by Ted's words that he'd let Ted do anything he wanted to him and he'd enjoy everything. **_Perhaps we can make things even more interesting next time and use handcuffs._ ** Ted's eyes gleamed with mischief as if hearing Barney ' s thoughts.  

 

"Right, righ- oOh!" The blonde gasped as Ted grabbed ahold of his hard on and began stroking it.  "Tedddd. ." He warned but his friend ignored him, nestling his head into the nervous blondes neck. "Shhhh. ... Barney your trembling. Don't tell me your scared to get your world rocked?"  Ted teased, knowing he could bait the players ego. He had been right.  

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~

"Please Theodore. The only thing I'm worried about is how your going to handle all this awesomeness," Barney gestured down to his body. Laughing Ted started fiddling with the blondes buttons to his suit,  stripping his top off completely soon afterwards. Spaghetti from the Italian suit stained his fingers, and Ted licked them clean, making sure Barney was watching first. 

"I'm sure I'll find a way to manage," He nodded approvingly gazing at the well toned chest of Barney Stinson. "Fuck me..." Ted murmured to himself, amazed and pleased. 

 

Hard, and toned as fuck, Ted finally understood how Barney was able to please all the woman he fucked.  The G N B employee could be a model for shits sakes ! Ted ran a finger down Barney ' s smooth chest as the other man shuddered in pleasure. **_How many woman have seen what I'm seeing? How many more will after tonight?_  ** These where the thoughts that plagued the back of Ted's mind. Fortunately, Ted's dick spoke louder.  

 

Getting up from between Barney ' s thighs, Barney couldn't help but feel disappointed from losing contact. He quickly changed his opinion when Ted began to strip down quickly in front of the blonde, seemingly unembarassed. 

 

It was cold outside, too cold not to be wearing clothes but neither boys seemed to notice as Ted resumed in the straddling position on top of Barney ' s cock.  Tilting his head, Ted looked innocently at Barney through half closed eye lids. "Fuck me?" Raking a shaky hand through his hair,  Barney laughed, his breath billowing out in a cold cloud.

"What's the magic word Teddy boy?" Rolling his eyes the brunette replied, "Fuck me hard Barney...pretty please?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~

That's all Barney needed to hear, groaning with pleasure as he reached beside him and pulled out all bottle of lube and a condom from his left breast pocket of his suit. 

As Barney ripped open the condom like a pro, his eyes gleamed as he slicked up his dick, stroking it before catching Ted's eye. "Suit up?" He asked teasingly, never dreaming he would use the phrase as anything more then getting his friends to dress up.  Grabbing his balls, Ted rubbed lightly before responding, "Fuck yes, suit up." 

 

One condom and a generous amount of lube later and Barney was inside Ted, body shaking and covered in sweat as he matched pace to his partner.  His partner- Ted was having the time of his life- leaned back against his friends thighs as he screamed loudly for more- for faster, stroking himself to match the blondes rhythm.  Barney had fucked alot of easy woman in his life but Ted by far was the sluttiest person he ever had the fortunate of fucking.  

 

Mouth bright red from biting his lips, Ted's eyes where closed as his body bucked widely against Barney ' s force.  He had been leaning back but now moved forward as he grabbed a fistful of the blondes hair and pulled hard.  Barney didn't mind. If he was being honest with himself, he found it sexy as fuck. Looking at the sight in front of him, Barney couldn't help but stare at Ted. He looked so perfect, taking Barney ' s hard cock like a professional porn star and hand fucking himself at the same time. The player couldn't help but feel bad that he wasn't taking care of his friends needs with his own hand but Ted didn't seem to mind, happily loving the way he felt. **_Besides..._ ** Barney thought to himself, **_If Ted gives hand jobs anything like how he sucked my finger off, he'll be fine._ ** Groaning from the memory, Barney ' s legs shaked with pleasure, twitching from Ted's added weight and his growing lust. 

Gripping the sides of Ted's body to anchor himself, the blonde was thankful for the use of both hands.  

 

Ted was in the perfect position, face forward and riding on top of him. Barney could see everything, the way Ted's facial features changed as he pounded his 8 1/2 dick harder into the architect and Into his G-Spot. "OH MY FUCK B..BARNEEE! " Ted hissed out, whimpering from the pleasure and the slight pain that his ass had started getting used to recently. 

 

Perhaps it was the perfect position, or the fact that Barney was fucking his best friend, Ted, which was quit controversial and inappropriate, or maybe the fact that Barney hadn't fucked in at least 3 days(which was a long time for him) or perhaps it was just the simple way that Ted whined for his name- begging- that came out sexy as fuck, that pushed Barney close and over the edge.  The player had always been proud for his stamina and how long he was able to put out in bed but Ted wasn't making things easy. 

 

Barney attempted to slow his thrusts down, so as not to cum right away but Ted noticed, winning pitifully as he rubbed his hips against the blondes chest before calling out breathlessly, " ahH. .BAarn. ..Barn...Barney... Hehh. . Common faster Barnee. "  "Ted, I'm, I'm gonna cum. Slow down for a  bit will ya?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~.~~~~~~~~~

Ted should of respected Barney's request but he couldn't he'd go crazy if he didn't have all of Barney now. Barney had been his sexual fantasy for months, having numerous guilt ridden wet dreams every night and now finally Ted's fantasies where coming true. Grabbing the blondes shoulder blade, he began to slam himself down on Barney ' s  cock aggressively, finger nails digging into his hard muscles,groaning as the cock filled his insides completely and fully. "It's okay... it's okay. Cum Barney. It's okay. Cum for me...cum..." Ted groaned out between pants as his body began shaking uncontrollably as his dick screamed for release.  Barney seemed to be ok with his response, resuming his hard thrusts as he groaned, closing his eyes, enjoying the friction of his cock and the feel of Ted digging into him with his nails. Ted didn't realize it yet but Barney enjoyed playing rough.  

 

A gurgled noise escaped Ted's lips, unable to contain himself any longer, he felt the pressure from inside him give out as he released his semen all over Barney ' s perfect chest, but not before screaming out in ecstasy,  " Oh god I loveee you Barney." Panting heavy,  he lapped himself up, licking Barney clean slowly- so as to arouse the other man.  It worked perfectly for as the blonde watched his architect eating his own cum he lost it, spilling his own seed inside Ted before collapsing back in the chair. 

 

As the effects of sex started to wear off, Barney couldn't help but feel stiff from sitting in the chair for so long and Ted couldn't help but feel he needed a napkin, dried spaghetti still clinging to his body.  Sweaty, and exhausted Ted couldn't help but laugh, snuggling close to Barney ' s chest.  As the effects of sex started to wear off Barney realized what Ted had screamed out while releasing his load onto his chest.  

 

And there it was. The famous L word that Ted was notorious for saying way too fast and way too early. For some reason the brunette seemed to always wanna ruin a good moment by "Tedding things up" as the group had come to call it. Should Barney just ignore it? Ted didn't seem to be making a big deal out of it and perhaps he had only meant it in the moment. 

 

"OH SHIT! I was supposed to meet some dude like..." Ted checked his watch, "an hour ago! Something to do with the roof." Barney was thankful for the change of subject, smiling at Ted's innocence.  He was starting to feel the cold and he really should put his clothes on but he couldn't be bothered, enjoying the feel of naked Ted still on top of him. " You mean Rick Cranston? I made him up to get you here," Barney replied, laughing as he remembered his clever plan to get Ted to come up to the building.

 

"What do you mean you made him up? I may of been drunk but I know someone called me." Barney waved Ted's comment away ,"I told you their was a method to my madness, Teddy boy. I pretended to fuck Trisha and then I brought her as my date to the G N B outing so you would get jealous and go drown your sorrows at the bar afterwards, so to speak. Then I had a buddy of mine call you pretending to be an employee knowing you would come check it out so late at night as a result of you being drunk and miserable. Sometimes good things do happen after 2 am Theodore.  Bout time you learn that. Embrace the phenomenon Ted." **_WHAT.THE.FUCK_**.. Ted shook his head, not believing his ears. Barney was explaining his "master play" as if such a thing was completely normal. ** _WHAT.THE.FUCK._**  "Barney are you being serious right now?"  Laughing, Barney stretched out, smiling as if it he has just solved the world's greatest puzzle. "I just don't have a name for this play yet, what do you think?" 

 

Barney started throwing out random plays such as, "The Great Mosby," and "The Twisted Romantic," and all Ted could do was stare.  What Barney had done was sick, it was twisted, and he had lied to Ted. He should be furious-yell- tell Barney he was a piece.  Finally finding his voice Ted spoke but not with his thoughts but with his heart. 

" I love You Barney."

  ** _Fucking_ _Teddy..._**

 

Goddammit Ted was...well..."Tedding  it up" again. Sighing Barney ran a hand through his hair before he rested his forehead on the brunettes. Chuckling quietly to himself, he kissed Ted lightly on the lips, rubbing the architects red cheeks before answering softly, " Goddammit I think I do too."

 

As the words escaped Barney's lips he realized he truly meant it.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my third fan fiction ever on this site and my first ever Barney & Ted. I don't know if you'll like it (*fingers crossed* I hope you do) but I do know for sure that I absolutely love these two together so hopefully I did these boys some justice. Comment if you like it please :) it makes my day and motivates me lol  
> * as a side note: the bolded italicized is the characters own private thought,  
> thanks for reading :) and enjoy!


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